A Confession

I have a secret to confess.  I'm jealous.  In fact, I've been jealous for a long time.  You might be thinking I'm jealous of all those Sounders FC season ticket holders, as the Sounders face the Galaxy tonight.  Perhaps I'm jealous of a new macbook, iphone, ipad or other technological wonder.  Even might I be jealous by the neighbors newer car, bigger house, or shinier lawn mower?  You'd be wrong.

I'm secretly jealous of my senior pastor.  And this isn't the first time.  I've been jealous of other senior pastors, in other churches across this great nation.  And that's not the end of it.  I've been jealous of single, lonely, wasting away, old, black widows, living beneath the poverty line.  I've been jealous of retired teachers, housewives, youth pastors, and even people on their death beds.

What am I jealous of, you ask?  I'm jealous of the time, experience, and relationship that allows someone to talk to God like a long time friend.  I've heard my senior pastor pray many times, and like one of my old teacher colleagues, and another pastor in Florida, I noticed a similarity in how they pray.  They pray as to an old, well-known, and beloved friend.  That best friend that you've done everything with for decades.  The one who will listen to you when you're going off without judging you; the one that will pick you up when you're as low as can be.  The one that wipes away your tears late at night and cheers you on from the sidelines.

I want that.  I want to pray like that.  I want to live like that.  And it begins today, everyday.  One choice, to spend time with God, with Jesus, is all it takes to have that kind of relationship.  I'm not there yet, but check back in forty years.  I'll let you know.